heminTon

You told me that we are different..
You told me that we are special..
You told me that you needed me..
You told me that i am important..
You told me that friendship can last forever..
You told me that we could last forever…
You told me..

You thought that i betray you..
You thought that others betray you..
You thought that you did nothing wrong..
You thought that you are the only one..
You thought that i was not good enough..
You thought that i am not worth it..
You thought that we are not meant to be..
You thought that i am just another guy/girl..
You thought that i never knew better..
You thought that..

You might think that i am a piece of trash..
You might think i am so full of shit..
You might think i am too desperate….
You might think i am lame..
You might think…

Was i ever some one?
Was i ever the one?
Was i ever being considered as the one?
Was i just another passer by?
Was i pushing too hard?
Was i trying too hard?
Was i doing all rite?
Was i doing things rite?
Why did you leave?
Why did you walk away?
Why did you stop loving?
How didn’t you forget me?
How did your feelings go away?
How did you throw my keys away?
Why did you throw my keys away?
How am i to go on without you in my life?
How am i suppose to keep going when i am in the dark?
What went wrong?
What have i done?
What is the thing that i didn’t do?
Why is the tears never stops?
Why is it so pain?
Why is it that after the more happy i was, the more pain i felt inside..?
Why is my heart still cry when there are no more tears for me to shed..?
Why is it that when the pain goes a way, my life went with it..?
Why does it have to be this way?
Why did you go away……..?

I wanted to give..
I wanted to keep..
I wanted for it to be forever..
I wanted you to be happy..
I wanted to know more..
I wanted your understanding..
I wanted to love..
I wanted your love…
I wanted..

I thought that you would care..
I thought that you would notice..
I thought that you would understand..
I thought that you will never leave me behind..
I thought that you meant what you said..
I thought that you would never leave..
I thought that you would never leave again..
I thought that you would never hurt me..
I thought that you would never hurt me again..
I thought that you were the one..
I thought that you were the only one..
I thought that i was your only one..
I thought that it would never end..
I thought that that love last forever..
I thought that..

I never thought it would end this way..
I never wanted for it to be this way..
I never wanted to push you away..
I never wanted for you to be far away..
I never wanted for things to happen this way..
I never wanted to see you go..
I never wanted it to end…
I never wanted to hurt you..
I never..

I don’t know what should i do..
I don’t know what can i do..
I don’t know why there is this feeling deep inside of me..
I don’t know why suddenly my life has become so empty yet so full..
I don’t know why things can be in such conflict..
I don’t know why it’s getting harder and harder to go through each day..
I don’t know why life can be so cruel..
I don’t know why love can be so cruel..
I don’t know why you left..
I don’t know what you wanted..
I don’t know what should have been done..
I don’t know why I care so much..
I don’t know what love should be..
I don’t know why you walked away..
I don’t know…

I need help..
I need to know..
I need to understand..
I need to feel alive..
I need to be alive again..
I need to be myself again..
I need to feel useful..
I need my self-esteem..
I need my dream..
I need be appreciated..
I need to be needed..
I need to stop crying..
I need to stop the tears..
I need to stop the pain..
I need to quit thinking of you..
I need to move on..
I need to run away..
I need to be a man/woman again..
I need my pride..
I need my dignity..
I need…… you in my life…

You didn’t know how much i would give..
You didn’t know how far i would go..
You didn’t know why i acted so weird..
You didn’t know that i was so scared..
You didn’t know why i needed you so badly..
You didn’t know why i keep on coming..
You didn’t know how anxious i was..
You didn’t know how much i miss you..
You didn’t know how strong are my feelings..
You didn’t know that you were the one that keeps me going..
You didn’t know how much i needed you..
You didn’t know that i was always there for you..
You didn’t know how i felt when you weren’t there for me..
You didn’t know how much you’ve hurt me..
You didn’t know… how much i love you…

LOVE
has been overrated..
has been underrated..
has been misunderstood..
has been understood..
has been cherished..
has been hated…
has been through tough times to show what it is..
has made so many innocent soul die before their time..
has made so many dying came back a life..
has kept so many kept on going…
has made so many end their journey..
has been so hard for so many…

When we first met love..
it’s that strong feeling we have for another soul..
it’s that strong heart beat when we sees the other person..
it’s the time when we were more anxious seeing them but still anxious not been able to..
it’s the time when we started to give for no reason..
it’s the time that you feel you can flying..
it’s the time when you feel nothing is impossible..
it’s the time when you started felt like really living..
it’s the time that lazy has never been able to win you over..
it’s the time when you can wake up in the morning with a smelly mouth but still feels sweet..
it’s the time that you heart has sweet taste buds..
it’s the time when you would do anything..
it’s the time when we became blind but could keep walking….
and..
it’s the thing that make people suffer..
it’s the thing that crushes your heart..
it’s the thing that has became the source of the pain deep down..
it’s the thing that has became your life..
it’s the thing that has turn into your 1st priority..
it’s the thing that keep bugging you in your mind..
it’s the thing that makes you feel worthless..
it’s the thing that makes you feel useless..
it’s the thing that make you feel that you have gone crazy..
it’s the thing that makes you feel like you wanted to be miserable..
it’s the thing that makes you hate more then you ever could..

it should never have been..
ONE SIDED..
about money..
about what you wanted..
about what had happened..

it should have been..
from BOTH SIDES..
about how you both could live better..
what you both wanted..
about what you would do when some thing happened..
when TWO PERSON has the same feeling for each other..
when the other person WANTED AS MUCH AS as what you wanted..
when TWO PEOPLE are willing to stay together forever..
when BOTH are willing…
the ultimate of relationship..
best of friends..
peaceful..

I find love..
when i see old couples, quarrellings for the smallest things in the world every day, yet they stayed together…
when i see friends willing to help the others and don’t care whether they know or not…
when i see people donating not for fame or advertising…
when i see parents hitting their child but you could see that in their eyes, they care so much…
when i see patient..

it takes a long time to understand,some never had the chance to..
it takes a long time to understand,some never gave themselves a chance to..
it takes a long time to heal from the pain that love has brought to us..
it takes big effort to learn to be patient and trust the ones beside us..
it takes courage to keep going when every thing seems to be dying..
it takes lots more guts to keep believe in some thing that has hurt you more then you ever felt you could be…
it takes time to get to know yourself again..
it takes time to learn how not to lose yourself again..
it takes time to learn how not to lose yourself again by not keeping yourself in..
it takes time to heal……

I end this with a quote from The Hitch — “All of us are falling, that’s why we need love to make us feel like we’re flying”

This is what people say…
The past is to be learned from
The present is to live in
The future…erm..i dono…

This is what i say…
The past is what build us…
The present… fight for what you believe in…
The uncertainty of the future should be interesting…

The past
Thing that had happened will affect people in many ways..Some people gets weaken, embarrass or dwell in it…those people are victims…Some other people gets tougher, stronger, wiser… Those people are survivors…
A friend once ask me,"if we forget about what had happened and have find excuse to so that we feel better, doesn’t that means that we’re bluffing ourselves?"
Ya…some people do get through by silly excuse…but, who am i to say which are true and which are silly.. What should have been focus is that they are moving on, they keep on going and trying to live better after what happened…they are the survivors…

The present
from what i read, there are actually many people that do not live in the time that they are in…living in the present require a good amount of focus, don’t believe me? Ever waste time in thinking of what to do whole day but never did anything? or have u ever came across with people that are like that? ya..they are those people that do not live in present…it’s not a right or wrong thing, it’s a choice…Live now, or think of living…

The future
some people are born with ambitious, some others never had any until they grow up, some even never had any whole life time… Any how, things changes, life is never something that we could plan and just keep on thinking that it will go the way we fight for..challenges are sure to be waiting all around…every time when u feel that things are getting well, some thing happened and your world turned up side down.. In most cases from which i have read, people on gets what thy want when they really really want it, because they will keep on fighting for it till the end..but when something crumble, cross your finger and pray to god that you’ll live another day to have the chance to do something again…

It’s ok to change, it’s ok to be a loser, it’s ok if we find that we don’t have directions and it’s definitely ok when things crumbled.. the road is a head, keep on walking aindark doesn’t seem to be a smart choice, but who are there to judge you when others are still standing and doing nothing…

Some people live for nothing and some people live to get everything and some others never knew anything… When we find an empty space in us, it means that we have started a journey, of self exploration, a journey that will take us and lead us to be a better person, to know better, to get to know more about ourself…trust in yourself, and be patient(give yourself some time) for what has been wished for…

I’m not genius and not that great thinker, but I learn from this….
"If you are driving on a road and found out you had went to east when u wanter to go to west…would you take the time to turn around, or do you keep on going and hoping one day you will reach from the other way round..?"

我曾怀疑我走在沙漠中
从不结果无论种什么梦
才张开翅膀风却便沉默
习惯伤痛能不能算收获
庆幸的是我一直没回头
终于发现真的是有绿洲
每把汗流了生命变的厚重
走出沮丧才看见新宇宙
海阔天空在勇敢以后
要拿执着将命运的锁打破
冷漠的人
谢谢你们曾经看轻我
让我不低头更精采的活

凌晨的窗口失眠整夜以后
看着黎明从云里抬起了头
日落是沉潜日出是成熟
只要是光一定会灿烂的
海阔天空狂风暴雨以后
转过头对旧心酸一笑而过
最懂我的人
谢谢一路默默的陪着我
让我拥有好故事可以说
看未来一步步来了

So many things that happened, and so many things still to come…. so many people i have came across with, so many things i did wrong…When i was naive(i might still be), when i was fragile, when i was stupid, when i didn’t know better… 

In times that my world has crumbled,
I can see, people around me… there are those that didn’t bother much, there are those who ran away, used me and who never believed in me…冷漠的人 谢谢你们曾经看轻我,让我不低头更精采的活…

For those people that stood by me, supported me, helped me through… No matter what I did, no matter what went wrong, no matter how far down i go…I don’t need to mention names, I believe that you(all) will know…You(all) were there… stood by me…walk me through all rains and thunder…trust in me…never left me…never betray me…never walk out on me… Here, I would like to thank you(all), for your support, for your help, for standing by me… Thank you!! (最懂我的人 谢谢一路默默的陪着我 让我拥有好故事可以说 看未来一步步来了)