heminTon

Hi to all that is reading, if you’re reading this the 2nd time, hi again, if it’s 3rd time, please give me your number,picture and also tell me your inteerest in me, who know, you might just be my wife some day (erm by now, 8th wife, ps ps…and it works both ways) …hahahaha… been so long since i type something here~ haha..

hmm..that day one of my best best friend asked me an(some) interesting question, fattyfatfat (fake name, obviously to make her feel cha tou) asked:” when you decide to change your job, how can you be sure that the job that you’re currently doing, is not what you really want?”

Fattyfatfat did ask a very interesting thing, my answer:” I don’t know, but I won’t find out if I stay anyway right?”

ok, end of story, so many ppl say i’m long winded, don’t wanna continue with long long explaination.. muahahahaha…

Anyway, I have to explain, maybe i just like to show that i know how to explain, maybe it’s not in my gene but i say it anyway becausenobosy knows anyway, maybe it’s because i was trained to be long winded, maybe it’s in my gene that my mother passed to me …LOL… around of applause for me to OWN those that got OWNed by me…”claps claps claps…”

Think of this, how can anyone be really sure? 2 routes, 2 path to choose from, where you won’t see the end, will never see the end. Who’s to say sure will be successful to choose which path?

Yeah! Ok, it’s a boring topic, lets continue with something else.

Quick view of my present…

How’s working compared to study? lol… too soon to know…still exploring..

How’s financial? still as broke as ever, maybe even worsts.

How’s my car? will definitely be a treat to my financial status…

How’s my room? still in a mess since move in…

How’s job hunting? finally identify some directions..

How’s love life? in a mess…

How’s hobby?

Sports, not doing it much.

Cooking, haven’t cook anything for at least 6 months, oh, how I miss

cooking…

Reading, surprise??Well i develop an interest in reading in the past 6 months… for the record, not just comics…

Driving, not worried to go up and down genting at all, much much more confident and skills since 1st time… haha… ImprovementJ I like…

Singing, still go from time to time, to entertain colleagues/boss, to enjoy with friend..but no development whatsoever, even getting worst..

Watching movie, been shopping for dvd so much lately… Keep watching movies at night as long as got chance to…

Where will I be? What will I do next? What are the things I will be looking for? Nope, I don’t know… not going to think so far ahead for now…my present is already so much of a handful for me, better take care of it 1st before I can think further ahead…

For guys to understand and woman to be aware of…

Dating 101: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating
husbands to get at the real reasons behind men’s infidelity.

By Nicole Yorio from Redbook

What makes men cheat? Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman dug through
past research on male infidelity and found that most answers came
from the wife’s point of view. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to ask
the guys?” he thought. So for his new book, “The Truth About
Cheating,” Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands to
get at the real reasons behind men’s infidelity — including what
cheating men say could have prevented them from straying. Here, some
of his findings:

More Dating Articles from Redbook:

Diary of an Affair
8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they
cheated.

So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about physical
intimacy: Only 8 percent of men said that physical dissatisfaction
was the main factor in their infidelity. “Our culture tells us that
all men need to be happy is to have physical intimacy with someone,”
Neuman says. “But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want
their wives to show them that they’re appreciated, and they want
women to understand how hard they’re trying to get things right.” The
problem is that men are less likely than women to express these
feelings, so you won’t always know when your guy is in need of a
little affirmation. “Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on
the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked,”
Neuman says. “But you can create a marital culture of appreciation
and thoughtfulness — and once you set the tone, he’s likely to match
it.”

66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.
The implications are a little scary: It isn’t just uncaring jerks who
cheat. In fact, 68 percent of cheaters never dreamed they’d be
unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn’t done it, Neuman
says. Clearly, guilt isn’t enough to stop a man from cheating. “Men
are good at compartmentalizing feelings,” Neuman explains. “They can
hold on to their emotions and deal with them later.” So even if your
partner swears he would never cheat, don’t assume it can’t happen.
It’s important for both of you to take steps toward creating the
relationship you want.

77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.

Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and
legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he’s subconsciously
telling himself: “My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating
on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it.” You can’t simply ban
your husband from hanging out with Mr. Wandering Eyes, Neuman says,
but you can request that they spend their time together in an
environment that offers less temptation, like at a sporting event or
a restaurant for lunch rather than at a bar or club. Another
strategy: Build your social circle around happily married couples
that share your values — it’ll create an environment that supports
marriage.

40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.

“Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who
praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts,” Neuman
says. “That’s another reason why it’s so critical that he feel valued
at home.” Luckily, there’s a clear warning sign that your husband is
getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions
the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart,
your antennae should go up — and it’s time for the two of you to set
boundaries about what is and isn’t okay at work, Neuman says. Is it
acceptable for him to work late if it’s only him and her? Can they
travel together to conferences? Have dinners out to discuss a
project? Ask him what he’d feel comfortable with you doing with a
male colleague.

Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically
attractive than their wife.
In other words, a man doesn’t stray because he thinks he’ll get lucky
with a better-looking body. ”

In most cases, he’s cheating to fill an emotional void,” Neuman
says. “He feels a connection with the other woman, and physical
intimacy comes along for the ride.” If you’re worried about
infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and
connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering how to
please him physically. (But know that physical intimacy does matter –
it’s one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close
to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)

Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after
meeting her that same day or night.

Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than
a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see
the warning signs before infidelity occurs — you might even see it
coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He
spends more time away from home, stops asking for physical intimacy,
picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. Your gut reaction
may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking about
cheating, especially if nothing physical has occurred yet. Instead,
Neuman suggests, take charge of what you can control — your own
behavior — and take the lead in bringing your relationship to a
better place. Don’t hesitate to show your appreciation for him,
prioritize time together, and initiate affection more. Give him a
reason to keep you at the front of his mind, Neuman says. And be open
about how you feel about what’s going on between the two of you
(again, without mentioning any third parties). Try “I think we’ve
started to lose something important in our relationship, and I don’t
want it to disappear.” In the meantime, commit to keeping tabs on
your relationship and doing what it takes to keep it working for you.

Behind the Color Blind
 You say you see no color. I say you’re
full of it!*
I hope when you look at me, you see black a little bit,
for when you say you see me how can that really be
when part of who I am is my ethnicity?

I like my hair, my skin tone, I like my heritage;
It influences my art enriches how I live.
I like your hair and color and even your eyes too,
one of my favorite hues is that lovely shade of blue.

But I wouldn’t want to be you, I like myself just fine,
and don’t want you to be me; we’ll both get there in time.
I know you like Scott Joplin, and I love a Bernstein score,
I love good gumbo and pot pies, one flavor’d be a bore.

When we escape these bodies, and meet at heaven’s gate,
then we can say no color, We’ll have nothing to debate.
We’ll be at peace in truth, and understand all things,
but until then let’s be real… Enjoy what difference brings!
And until that day in glory when we are truly one,
let’s love ourselves in color, not pretend that we see none.

Consider what it means, to love without condition,
it means to see all sides of me, yet love is your decision.
To be high but lay down low, and love beyond yourselve
is the best way to love others, and have spiritual wealth.

But to claim you see no color, and smile like all is fine
is to say you don’t see wholely
and if so, we see you’re blind.

 -By Nordette
Adams

I waited for quite a while to have my first… just like what people say about being a virgin, let your first be with some one that is worth it and memorable for the least…my 1st…was given to this guy, he is tall, good at what he does, charming and full of talent… it was a romantic nite….hahaha…

ok ok …back to the real thing… LEEHOM’s CONCERT!!!! a msg for those who hesitated and decided not to go at last….You guys missed a damn nice concert!! Enjoyed every little moment of it.

As from what syuin’s (her blog) said, it was worth getting line up, sun burning, rain pouring, people crushing, running to get seats and all others nonsence to get to the place… 
The performance were of better than I’d expected… besides that, that night was the 15th of lunar calender, we could see the full moon from where we seat.. the scenary was drop dead gorgeous..

I would definitely try to save more to go another of his concert next time, get better seatsm, better view of it and enjoy it even more! I’m Loving It !!!

a DJ on radio said guys nowadays aren’t romantic…please do give me some comments on this ya, no matter guys or girls…

As for me, well..i just think that i seldom see people get creative in creating a romantic…Romantic for most are those things people do in the movies, many sees romantic as candle light dinners and watching sun rise…
It’s not that i don’t agree that that is romantic…it’s just that..i feel that romantic shouldn’t be like that, it’s suppose to be the time when two people are having a wonderful time together, not the background…well some background might help..
Picture this, if a couple could dance to a soft and nice music, even if they are in a mall, it’s still romantic…feelings are important, others are just how you prefer to perceive…well… unless you want the moment to be unforgettable, then that is another story..other than that, repeated things can be very romantic, for example, pouring a cup of water for the other every morning when waking up, or giving a kiss everyday before and after going out every day, giving a thoughtful give is also romantic…for me, small things that is being done in life would be romantic as long as there is effort to keep things going..

As for unforgettable moments, guys…be more creative, be more daring…when day dreaming, don’t just dream bout sexy girls u saw on television, think of something new, think of some thing She would like…
as for the ladies/Girls/woman..come on, it’s time for u all to learn to make some romantic time for a change, get out of the old old old old thinking that only guys do the planning..You want romantic dinner? you want romantic time? Plan for one!!! come on.. it’s not jsut a guys job to keep the spice in the relation…

Some ideas of unforgettable times…
- make as much of paper crane (纸鹤) as you can, then hang it on a tree with small leafs…bring her to see after in the morning..as early as u can…best in sunrise…well, this is not that easy to do…but if you’re trying to impress the girl of your dreams and you’re so madly in love with her…i think it’s not a bad one…

- a teddy bear with scarf, hide a necklace in the scarf…let her discover it…just let it be…don’t tell her anything…and i really mean it..nothing!

- flowers?? an idea i got from some where is to sent her all real and one fake.. write a note telling her that you would love her till the last rose fades…

- here’s something you can do more often…
bring her to a shore, at night… on some musics (no lyrics), dance with her…don’t know how to dance?? don worry, wrap ur arm around her, take of ur shoes and let her step on ur feed…gently sway around..you don’t have to carry her with ur feet(no one can do that even if they are very strong, even if they can,that is working out, not dancing), letting her on your feed will help you both to get the same timing…dancing itself is romantic, if the girl really knows romance, she will know how to sway with u..if she is petrified, better..cos you can hold her more gently and let her calm and know that it is save with u…that’s what makes them feel secure having u around…

well, these are some to share, please do put in comment about ur idea if u have any…to show that people nowadays still knows about being romantic…
o ya…if you’re thinking of writing candle light dinner…pls don’t!! it’s a lame and boring idea….

You told me that we are different..
You told me that we are special..
You told me that you needed me..
You told me that i am important..
You told me that friendship can last forever..
You told me that we could last forever…
You told me..

You thought that i betray you..
You thought that others betray you..
You thought that you did nothing wrong..
You thought that you are the only one..
You thought that i was not good enough..
You thought that i am not worth it..
You thought that we are not meant to be..
You thought that i am just another guy/girl..
You thought that i never knew better..
You thought that..

You might think that i am a piece of trash..
You might think i am so full of shit..
You might think i am too desperate….
You might think i am lame..
You might think…

Was i ever some one?
Was i ever the one?
Was i ever being considered as the one?
Was i just another passer by?
Was i pushing too hard?
Was i trying too hard?
Was i doing all rite?
Was i doing things rite?
Why did you leave?
Why did you walk away?
Why did you stop loving?
How didn’t you forget me?
How did your feelings go away?
How did you throw my keys away?
Why did you throw my keys away?
How am i to go on without you in my life?
How am i suppose to keep going when i am in the dark?
What went wrong?
What have i done?
What is the thing that i didn’t do?
Why is the tears never stops?
Why is it so pain?
Why is it that after the more happy i was, the more pain i felt inside..?
Why is my heart still cry when there are no more tears for me to shed..?
Why is it that when the pain goes a way, my life went with it..?
Why does it have to be this way?
Why did you go away……..?

I wanted to give..
I wanted to keep..
I wanted for it to be forever..
I wanted you to be happy..
I wanted to know more..
I wanted your understanding..
I wanted to love..
I wanted your love…
I wanted..

I thought that you would care..
I thought that you would notice..
I thought that you would understand..
I thought that you will never leave me behind..
I thought that you meant what you said..
I thought that you would never leave..
I thought that you would never leave again..
I thought that you would never hurt me..
I thought that you would never hurt me again..
I thought that you were the one..
I thought that you were the only one..
I thought that i was your only one..
I thought that it would never end..
I thought that that love last forever..
I thought that..

I never thought it would end this way..
I never wanted for it to be this way..
I never wanted to push you away..
I never wanted for you to be far away..
I never wanted for things to happen this way..
I never wanted to see you go..
I never wanted it to end…
I never wanted to hurt you..
I never..

I don’t know what should i do..
I don’t know what can i do..
I don’t know why there is this feeling deep inside of me..
I don’t know why suddenly my life has become so empty yet so full..
I don’t know why things can be in such conflict..
I don’t know why it’s getting harder and harder to go through each day..
I don’t know why life can be so cruel..
I don’t know why love can be so cruel..
I don’t know why you left..
I don’t know what you wanted..
I don’t know what should have been done..
I don’t know why I care so much..
I don’t know what love should be..
I don’t know why you walked away..
I don’t know…

I need help..
I need to know..
I need to understand..
I need to feel alive..
I need to be alive again..
I need to be myself again..
I need to feel useful..
I need my self-esteem..
I need my dream..
I need be appreciated..
I need to be needed..
I need to stop crying..
I need to stop the tears..
I need to stop the pain..
I need to quit thinking of you..
I need to move on..
I need to run away..
I need to be a man/woman again..
I need my pride..
I need my dignity..
I need…… you in my life…

You didn’t know how much i would give..
You didn’t know how far i would go..
You didn’t know why i acted so weird..
You didn’t know that i was so scared..
You didn’t know why i needed you so badly..
You didn’t know why i keep on coming..
You didn’t know how anxious i was..
You didn’t know how much i miss you..
You didn’t know how strong are my feelings..
You didn’t know that you were the one that keeps me going..
You didn’t know how much i needed you..
You didn’t know that i was always there for you..
You didn’t know how i felt when you weren’t there for me..
You didn’t know how much you’ve hurt me..
You didn’t know… how much i love you…

LOVE
has been overrated..
has been underrated..
has been misunderstood..
has been understood..
has been cherished..
has been hated…
has been through tough times to show what it is..
has made so many innocent soul die before their time..
has made so many dying came back a life..
has kept so many kept on going…
has made so many end their journey..
has been so hard for so many…

When we first met love..
it’s that strong feeling we have for another soul..
it’s that strong heart beat when we sees the other person..
it’s the time when we were more anxious seeing them but still anxious not been able to..
it’s the time when we started to give for no reason..
it’s the time that you feel you can flying..
it’s the time when you feel nothing is impossible..
it’s the time when you started felt like really living..
it’s the time that lazy has never been able to win you over..
it’s the time when you can wake up in the morning with a smelly mouth but still feels sweet..
it’s the time that you heart has sweet taste buds..
it’s the time when you would do anything..
it’s the time when we became blind but could keep walking….
and..
it’s the thing that make people suffer..
it’s the thing that crushes your heart..
it’s the thing that has became the source of the pain deep down..
it’s the thing that has became your life..
it’s the thing that has turn into your 1st priority..
it’s the thing that keep bugging you in your mind..
it’s the thing that makes you feel worthless..
it’s the thing that makes you feel useless..
it’s the thing that make you feel that you have gone crazy..
it’s the thing that makes you feel like you wanted to be miserable..
it’s the thing that makes you hate more then you ever could..

it should never have been..
ONE SIDED..
about money..
about what you wanted..
about what had happened..

it should have been..
from BOTH SIDES..
about how you both could live better..
what you both wanted..
about what you would do when some thing happened..
when TWO PERSON has the same feeling for each other..
when the other person WANTED AS MUCH AS as what you wanted..
when TWO PEOPLE are willing to stay together forever..
when BOTH are willing…
the ultimate of relationship..
best of friends..
peaceful..

I find love..
when i see old couples, quarrellings for the smallest things in the world every day, yet they stayed together…
when i see friends willing to help the others and don’t care whether they know or not…
when i see people donating not for fame or advertising…
when i see parents hitting their child but you could see that in their eyes, they care so much…
when i see patient..

it takes a long time to understand,some never had the chance to..
it takes a long time to understand,some never gave themselves a chance to..
it takes a long time to heal from the pain that love has brought to us..
it takes big effort to learn to be patient and trust the ones beside us..
it takes courage to keep going when every thing seems to be dying..
it takes lots more guts to keep believe in some thing that has hurt you more then you ever felt you could be…
it takes time to get to know yourself again..
it takes time to learn how not to lose yourself again..
it takes time to learn how not to lose yourself again by not keeping yourself in..
it takes time to heal……

I end this with a quote from The Hitch — “All of us are falling, that’s why we need love to make us feel like we’re flying”

This is what people say…
The past is to be learned from
The present is to live in
The future…erm..i dono…

This is what i say…
The past is what build us…
The present… fight for what you believe in…
The uncertainty of the future should be interesting…

The past
Thing that had happened will affect people in many ways..Some people gets weaken, embarrass or dwell in it…those people are victims…Some other people gets tougher, stronger, wiser… Those people are survivors…
A friend once ask me,"if we forget about what had happened and have find excuse to so that we feel better, doesn’t that means that we’re bluffing ourselves?"
Ya…some people do get through by silly excuse…but, who am i to say which are true and which are silly.. What should have been focus is that they are moving on, they keep on going and trying to live better after what happened…they are the survivors…

The present
from what i read, there are actually many people that do not live in the time that they are in…living in the present require a good amount of focus, don’t believe me? Ever waste time in thinking of what to do whole day but never did anything? or have u ever came across with people that are like that? ya..they are those people that do not live in present…it’s not a right or wrong thing, it’s a choice…Live now, or think of living…

The future
some people are born with ambitious, some others never had any until they grow up, some even never had any whole life time… Any how, things changes, life is never something that we could plan and just keep on thinking that it will go the way we fight for..challenges are sure to be waiting all around…every time when u feel that things are getting well, some thing happened and your world turned up side down.. In most cases from which i have read, people on gets what thy want when they really really want it, because they will keep on fighting for it till the end..but when something crumble, cross your finger and pray to god that you’ll live another day to have the chance to do something again…

It’s ok to change, it’s ok to be a loser, it’s ok if we find that we don’t have directions and it’s definitely ok when things crumbled.. the road is a head, keep on walking aindark doesn’t seem to be a smart choice, but who are there to judge you when others are still standing and doing nothing…

Some people live for nothing and some people live to get everything and some others never knew anything… When we find an empty space in us, it means that we have started a journey, of self exploration, a journey that will take us and lead us to be a better person, to know better, to get to know more about ourself…trust in yourself, and be patient(give yourself some time) for what has been wished for…

I’m not genius and not that great thinker, but I learn from this….
"If you are driving on a road and found out you had went to east when u wanter to go to west…would you take the time to turn around, or do you keep on going and hoping one day you will reach from the other way round..?"

我曾怀疑我走在沙漠中
从不结果无论种什么梦
才张开翅膀风却便沉默
习惯伤痛能不能算收获
庆幸的是我一直没回头
终于发现真的是有绿洲
每把汗流了生命变的厚重
走出沮丧才看见新宇宙
海阔天空在勇敢以后
要拿执着将命运的锁打破
冷漠的人
谢谢你们曾经看轻我
让我不低头更精采的活

凌晨的窗口失眠整夜以后
看着黎明从云里抬起了头
日落是沉潜日出是成熟
只要是光一定会灿烂的
海阔天空狂风暴雨以后
转过头对旧心酸一笑而过
最懂我的人
谢谢一路默默的陪着我
让我拥有好故事可以说
看未来一步步来了

So many things that happened, and so many things still to come…. so many people i have came across with, so many things i did wrong…When i was naive(i might still be), when i was fragile, when i was stupid, when i didn’t know better… 

In times that my world has crumbled,
I can see, people around me… there are those that didn’t bother much, there are those who ran away, used me and who never believed in me…冷漠的人 谢谢你们曾经看轻我,让我不低头更精采的活…

For those people that stood by me, supported me, helped me through… No matter what I did, no matter what went wrong, no matter how far down i go…I don’t need to mention names, I believe that you(all) will know…You(all) were there… stood by me…walk me through all rains and thunder…trust in me…never left me…never betray me…never walk out on me… Here, I would like to thank you(all), for your support, for your help, for standing by me… Thank you!! (最懂我的人 谢谢一路默默的陪着我 让我拥有好故事可以说 看未来一步步来了)

I’ve build.. a wall inside of me..
I’ve tried.. to pass out the golden key..
I’ve found.. it was well received..
I’ve went.. to limits..
I’ve pushed.. my limits..
I’ve realize.. reality..
I’ve been.. turned down, torn apart, walk out on..
I’ve tried again.. to give my key..
I’ve wanted.. to make a duplicate..
I’ve failed.. as what it shows..
I’ve learned again..to build a wall outside of me..
I’ve tried again.. to build something people can see..
I’ve succeeded.. in letting people know, the small part that I am still capable to show..
I’ve succeeded.. to keep the shadows..
I know.. I am who i am..
I know.. who I am..
I know.. I will keep going..
I admit.. I am too much of a coward to give up..

I know………………………………………………………………………………….. by now, u might think I’m crazy..

People won’t remember what you said.

People won’t remember what you did.

People will remember how you make them feel.

As people get older, life gets harder, but it gets more interesting, y? some
may ask..it’s obvious, because when you get older, you get to really decide on
what kind of life that you would want to live, choices are there for most
people, it’s how much determination that effects their decision and view..You
don’t believe what i say? maybe some day, maybe never…It’s a point of view, i
may change it any time i find something that can be more trusted from the other
views..But till then, I still prefer to think that it’s us who choose our path,
i’m making my choices now, i’m 22 this year, and i have been thinking bout my
life since i’m form 2 (14 years old), think about what i believe in, think
about what i live for, think what do i want in life, think of what are the
things that matters most in my life, think about what i should and shouldn’t
think of…Does that sound too much to think of? Or you would rather say it’s
useless and it’s unnecessary to think of these things? Well, it’s up to u, some
people just knew what they wanted since they were a child, some others just go
with the flow, some haven’t got a clue that they are actually living…Just
that it’s worth thinking, it helps me to learn more about myself and what my
motives are in life, and i can organize my priorities… I used nearly 10
years, and i still in the stage that i doesn’t think i know much…maybe it’s
my nature, i never thought i knew enough…and i like things to be in such a
way, it helps motivate me to keep on learning and stick my legs on the floor and
my chin near to my neck…

Ok ok…i know i mumble too much, had too much to
drink just now..haha..chivas, calsberg, bearchang (thai beer)..and i even played
basketball in between my drinks.. damn, it just makes it easier to get to my
head…luckily i’m still sober..at least till these point, haha…at least i
still think so..
As i said, enough mumbling..so much time wasted on rubbish thoughts, i just
wanted to say…
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! GONG XI FA CAI !!!!!